the conduit

I don’t want to diminish the changes that occur in adolescence but could it be that the difficulties experienced by this age group have a lot to do with how they are treated? Watch TV, read the news and look for the patronizingly knowing glances that adults share as they discuss the adolescent. Count how often young people’s behaviors or opinions are neutralized or dismissed as they are explained away through assumptions about hormones or brain development.  What would it take to give Adora’s hypothesis a chance–that we have much to gain from listening to young people?

The signs of respect that young people are asked to demonstrate in the presence of their elders are a matter of civility; however, when they are demanded they represent the imposition of a supposed “natural” hierarchy. Behind that hierarchy is something like “respect your elders” but what exactly are we calling on young people to respect? If we don’t understand that it is the wisdom gained of experience that supported such a hierarchy embedding itself in our society in the first place, we fall into the trap of thinking that these signs of respect are natural in the sense of being “pre-established”. This danger ensues any time we think of a value as natural and we lose touch with its link to some aspect of our species’ survival. So young people will show you respect, but not because you demand it. We don’t live in an era that recognizes those authoritarian hierarchies anymore–you’re going to have to earn it.